Friday, March 27, 2009

more lies

again, i know i'm supposed to be talking about bomb threats, but someone we all know and love has been arrested, people, and we must discuss.

the smoking gun reports that vince shlomi (yes, that's really his last name) has been arrested for assaulting a prostitute. now, you may not know why you love vince, so i'll tell you . do the words sham and wow mean anything to you? yep, this is the guy that sells sham wow on tv. amaaaaaazing, right? right.

shlomi paid the prostitute $1,000 for "straight sex"--that's 50 terrific sham wow's. i wonder if he used a little sham wow action to clean up the soaks up anything, you know?

this is your opportunity to make fun of the following:
- shlomi as a last name (so many ways to go with this)
- sham wow
- prostitution
- a fabulous combo of all of the above


  1. Try saying "sham wow shlomi" five times fast.

  2. Sham-FAIL. or is it?

    Is it reallllly all that shocking that this guy beats hookers? We are talkin about a cock-eyed, faux-hawked, pitchman who screams into a camera about absorbant materials. You followin' me, camera guy? Granted, Shaw-Wow was very impressive (it'll make you say Wow! everytime, actually). The Chop-bloc, however, was highly dissapointing. I had to ask myself, "Is the 'Schlominator' in a sophomore slump or preparing for the come back of the year. Needless to say, we now have our answer:

    The "Shlomi-Slap down" is the perfect hooker negotiating tool. Are you tired of using coercive words? moving from pimp to pimp trying to find the right fit for you? Try the Shlomi-Slap down and get your ho in line! But call now, cause we can't do this all day...