Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
the short answer is, i don't know. the long (and more enjoyable) answer is that he has ocd and he's made a habit out of it. (if you know anyone with ocd like this, it's great fun to shout "hi!" at them in the middle of their ritual and watch them start all over again, just fyi.)
since the last snow (what, a week ago?), he has parked his car and his wife's car in front of my house-taking up our parking spaces. jackass, right? right.
last night he wasn't home when i got back from the gym so i parked in the middle of 2 spaces and he had to park halfway down the street. victory is mine!
alas, tonight i didn't beat him home and he's, once again, in front of my house. we're considering using his driveway since he doesn't seem to want to.
ok, so where is this meandering post leading? i've decided i'd like to challenge c-sucker to a duel, if you will. i want to arm wrestle him for the parking spot (thanks to edrick for this idea). (c-suckers's an old man and i'll totally dominate him.)
who do you want to arm wrestle? the person can be real or imagined, alive or dead. go!
Monday, January 26, 2009
let me catch you up on the duggar's. they're a family of like 20 from arkansas. they heart god big time. so the oldest son (20) is going to get married, after i think only seeing "his bride" all of four times in person. fine. arranged marriages are good. whatever.
this is what gets me: the first time they are going to kiss is at their wedding. can you imagine having your first kiss in front of all those people? dude tried to do some weird french kiss thing. i was uncomf to say the least.
just before the wedding, the dad gives his son a book and some sort of dvd/cd thing on being a good husband and tries to teach him about "the birds and the bees." most awkward conversation of that kid's life, right?
wrong, in his bio says he "was constanty tempted to have lots of wrong thoughts" but "if he was willing to share honestly & openly with his parents" he was somehow cleared of these "wrong thoughts."
how do you think that conversation went? and what are the chances that he didn't kill anybody with all that pent up frustration?
watch the show. guaranteed nightmares.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
top 5 scenes (some of these may be slightly ficticious):
- no. 5: it's kindegarten. i have a crush on roger semen (played by brad pitt, obvi). my dad (harrison ford in his indiana jones days) talks about him non-stop. why?
- no. 4: i'm 12 and run a 4.4 40 (fastest child alive--it's been hard to live down. i've done all the major talk shows. no big deal.)
- no. 3: as a mature 16 year old, i become the founder of the gorgeous ladies of wrestling (you know you watched)
- no. 2: a few years ago A finds out about the mind meld. she remains scared of it to this day. i secretly, alright openly, love it.
- no. 1: current day. i take over the world. muahahaha
who would play you in the movie of your life? any top scenes come to mind?
unfortunately, jimmy the pig drover is also the butcher. poor piggies.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
things to consider:
- does this animal have the right hair? friends? clothes?
- how does this animal look in a blazer? seer sucker? madras shorts?
- is this animal wealthy? does he row crew or sail? does he have more than one house?
animals that have already been discussed:
- penguins are the most formal animal, therefore penguin is not the right answer
- giraffe--good hair, looks down on people, only hangs with their own kind; is he too much of a loner though?
- male african lion--better hair, would totally rock a blazer; is he really a prepster or a bad ass though?
so, let's hear it. what is the preppiest animal? go!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
let's examine what these might look like:
- saying/doing something insanely stupid
- a tragic ensemble
- george bush (ok, that's mean, but seriously)
- global warming
- other terrific ideas i/you come up with
while i haven't been able to identify a great "edit > undo" for today, i'll focus my first ctrl + z on an embarrassing/tragic event from yesterday.
it was a freezing cold day on the east coast and i was lucky enough to be working from home. i took this delightful opportunity to walk my dog late in the afternoon. as i usually do, i bundled up with hat, scarf, mittens...the whole 9. K turned circles in his usual "poop spot" and i prepared to clean up with a plastic bag. please note that in most instances i remove mittens prior to clean up duty. not so yesterday. i decided i was talented enough to keep the mitten on for clean up. as my friend "jimmy" will attest, life in a mitten is not easy. he's right.
as i went to turn the bag inside out, i got poop on the mitten. gross. seriously.
let this be a lesson to all of you. life in mittens is hard...and smelly.