Tuesday, January 27, 2009


let me bring you up to speed on my neighbor...a man i like to call c-sucker. he lives across the street from me and continually parks in front of my house. now, the man has a functioning driveway in front of his house, so why, you might ask, does he feel compelled to park in front of my house?

the short answer is, i don't know. the long (and more enjoyable) answer is that he has ocd and he's made a habit out of it. (if you know anyone with ocd like this, it's great fun to shout "hi!" at them in the middle of their ritual and watch them start all over again, just fyi.)

since the last snow (what, a week ago?), he has parked his car and his wife's car in front of my house-taking up our parking spaces. jackass, right? right.

last night he wasn't home when i got back from the gym so i parked in the middle of 2 spaces and he had to park halfway down the street. victory is mine!

alas, tonight i didn't beat him home and he's, once again, in front of my house. we're considering using his driveway since he doesn't seem to want to.

ok, so where is this meandering post leading? i've decided i'd like to challenge c-sucker to a duel, if you will. i want to arm wrestle him for the parking spot (thanks to edrick for this idea). (c-suckers's an old man and i'll totally dominate him.)

who do you want to arm wrestle? the person can be real or imagined, alive or dead. go!


  1. arm wrastlin' huh? I'll give it a go.

    I would like to arm wrestle Princess Di...too soon? fine. How about Obama....too topical? fine. Stephen Hawking...too easy? fine.

    I'd arm wrestle Leonardo Davinci. This guy has sat on his high horse for far too long now. No matter what the topic, someone is always saying "oh did you know Davinci invented paper toilet seat cover dispensers hundreds of years ago?" I'm sick of it. I wanna go forearm to forearm with this fool so the next time someone talks about how "amazing" primitive Pez dispensers were, I can say "yea well i bet he can't wrastle worth sh*%."

    If you plan on going into battle anytime soon, please check here for tips, tricks, and appropriate wrastlin' etiquette:

  2. I want to arm wrestle jimmyeatblog. You see, since I've got a da Vinci tattoo on my arm I might just be the closest thing to living out his fantasy that he'll ever get. Bring it! ;)

    Oh, and the idea about parking in c-suckers driveway is brilliant.

  3. i took great joy in the one time i got his spot. not even sure if he even came home to notice me parked in front of your house. why don't you and mike block his ass in?