Monday, April 6, 2009

what if?

what if my mom had named me tiffany? i'd definitely have long, blonde, crinkly hair--you know the kind with too much gel in it. and i'd have bangs and they'd be big. i'd also be wider, i think and people would call me tiff and i'd want to fight them. i think my IQ would be at least 50 points lower and i'd hate myself for it.

yep, i'm glad i'm not tiffany.

the thing is, i was never going to be a tiffany. she wanted to name me pamela jean (i realize this is worse, but for some reason the idea of tiffany being my name horrifies me) and call me PJ.

who would you be if you had a different name?


  1. My wife and daughter are named Tiffany, you jerk.

    My parents almost named me "Chaz" the Hog Drover. Now THAT is ridiculous. You would never trust a "Chaz" with the responsibility of getting all your hogs across the wastelands at all costs. You can trust a Chaz to drunk drive a car into the river or win a polo tournament. Imagine how different things would be? Jimmy the Hog Drover gets the job done. Thanks, Mom the cattle brander and Dad the bear tamer.

  2. I'm still waiting to meet someone named "Herkimer Mohawk." Now THAT would be a great name.

    My dad called me "John" for about 8 years. He likes to give people nicknames, so I never really questioned it. But now, after reading this blog and starting to ponder where this name came from... it feels pretty sketchy!

    Someone kinda sorta told me that if you had a different name, it might be "Ginger." :-O

  3. For the first day of my life I was named after my dad, Richard Gordon, who was named after his dad, Richard Gordon. Some people called me Dicky Gordo for short. On the second day of my life, my name was changed to what it is today.
    I wonder how Dicky Gordo would be doing if he were around 35 years later?

    I will say, I like the name Gordon. If I could make it my first or last name, I would. Flash. BNL's breakthrough album. Alf from TV's Alf show. The kid from Stand By Me. They're the real heroes if you ask me.

  4. I was going to be Lydell and Leroy. It's weird, I know. My brother was hoping for twin boys that would play football. close... ;)